A Whole Lot Of Truth
Well I have really debated back and forth on how honest I will be with this..how much will I share..how many feelings will I expose. And as embarrassing as it is to talk about this I feel its something no one does..and well I get why not..really its not like I am all excited to share my insecurities..but when I talked about my weight loss struggles, the kind emails I got from people and them sharing their stories and struggles and relating made it all worth it. So here it is.
When you loose 100 pounds and/or have a baby..the chances of having loose skin are VERY high. Like I have said before..no mummy tummy fairies came and visited me. I got it all - stretch marks and the loose skin. For the most part I was pretty lucky, my stretch marks arnt terrible and they don't take over my whole stomach. They go to just under my belly button and I have some on my hips. I also have very faint ones under my arms and in behind my knees. This happens...I grew a HUMAN in my tummy and had a fabulous pregnancy. I also NEVER worked out and ate anything and literally everything..not to mention I have lost 100 let me say it again 100 (that number is still ridiculous and funny to me) pounds! Penn is healthy and I had no complications. So if I got some exterior scars (stretch marks) that is OK!!
But here is the honest part..the loose skin is hard...for me its like you go from feeling gross in your clothes, to gross naked. Whats harder...is I can work all I want and that wont change...and actually the harder I work and more I tighten the worse it will get.
My whole life I had large boobs DD and at the end of my pregnancy a F ..(big I know ha) they made me very self conscious, not to mention I couldn't buy just any bra..they had to be full coverage locked and loaded bras that are like $150 each! I would never wear vnecks and the cut of bathing suits and shirts was always important to me. Not to mention my back always hurt..I just always wanted little boobs, the thought of it sounded unreal to me..I would see small chested girls and just be envious. Well I now am a small C.. YEY small boobs!! Problem is the arnt happy boobs..they are sad boobs…Lets be serious…almost 99% of people I talk to after you have a baby…they all get sad. haha BUT I can wear vnecks now and not feel like they are on a platter! :)
Of course this is all just vain things that I am discussing...my husband still thinks I am beautiful and its not like the skin is hurting anything. The thing is its sucks for me..I am very self conscious now of shirts I wear, always having to wear a tight tank underneath to keep the skin in its place.. bathingsuits right now terrify me..its like you do all this hard work and you still can't have the body you worked for. It sucks. period.
So I wanted to know what my options were...what I would have to do to get rid of the loose skin. So last week I went and seen a Plastic Surgeon. I did my research and went to one that was fully credited and who had fabulous reviews. I heard from multiple people he was honest with what you needed and not just what would make him more money. It was terrifying...I was very nervous. Well as soon as I got in the consult room with his assistant I felt very comfortable, and when I met him even more comfortable. I was in with him for probably an hour and a half. He didn't seem rushed at all and wanted to ensure all my questions were answered. That I appreciated most! So what he told me was surprising and not if that makes sense. I knew he would say a breast lift..and he did. No surprise there. It was my tummy that surprised me. First he told me that under my tummy loose skin he could feel my muscles! That made me happy to know…muscles..always exciting to me! But he told me that not only would I need a tummy tuck, to get rid of it all I would need a full beltlipectomy (ps so not sure if I spelt that right) - its where the scar would go up on my hip and around my back...its common in excessive weight loss. That's where I was crushed...I thought those were just my love handles and if I kept targeting and working on them they would go away...but no he informed me there isn't fat in there...its just skin...and the more I loose the more it will sag. LIKE FRICK! He did tell me that due to me being young if I was to see any tightening with working out it would happen in the next 3-6 months...since my weight loss is still fresh. But still it just sucked hearing it.
Now I know what your thinking...'but Chandell don't you want to have more babies, why would you fix this now' -- So please know... sometimes in life things aren't fair. Would I love a big family...of course I would of..but some things we don't get to decide.. We are so blessed and fortunate to have Penn and for that I am soo grateful. The only time it gets hard is when people say "Well you can't just have one" and trust me I think about it ALL the time, all the things that being an only child mean. Lorne and I both come from big families and as much as my brothers drive me nuts, they are my brothers and I love my sister in laws and all my nieces and nephews!...but again we are SO fortunate, and sometimes people are just unaware of the struggles some people face and that's ok. Most people don't realize that getting pregnant easy, having a perfect pregnancy and then taking home a healthy baby at the end..THAT is the exception…Who knows if this will ever change, but for now we are done and I am at peace with that.
Sooo truthfully I don't know where I stand with the whole plastic surgery thing. I don't know if all the risks and recovery time are worth it. I do know that it would be nice one day to feel comfortable, in my own skin..and well not have extra haha but I also know he said I could still see more changes so time to crack down and until I know I am where I want to be, I will be on the fence…well and can't believe I am posting this :) ha here goes the publish button.
PS Is it Friday yet?!?!