Spatially Aware

My girls brought it to my attention that I am a bit touchy when I have people moving around in my kitchen and stirring things or trying to help. I couldn't figure this out. I was baking muffins on a bright day and it hit me. My kitchen is a place I spend a lot of time. It has taken work for me to feel comfortable there, I am frustrated when things are moved or changed. When I cook or bake, everything is done by the sense of touch and smell. I don't see the temperature on the stove I feel it. I even clean the counters by feel. I use taste. I use my other senses and complete spatial awareness in my kitchen for what I do not see visually. This makes everything so personal to me. I wouldn't walk in to a strange kitchen and run my hands all over their counters, but in mine I can. This is the reason I am so touchy, this space has become uniquely mine. My fingers know every square inch of that kitchen and what I cup of flour needs to feel like. Yes I am able to share it with my daughters but it takes getting used to as it changes my perception of space and movement. This must be why I am so touchy, my kitchen is my personal space I prefer to be in my kitchen alone, to make my own mess, my own mistakes , my own creations. But I love my girls, so I will share those messes and creations with them. It just is going to take some learning to move a bit better around others.

This is the same way I feel about my weights. I train alone the majority of the time, therefore touch and spatial awareness being a huge thing for me. If my weights are moved, sometimes I have a hard time finding them. I am learning more and more that I am a bit particular, not a neat freak, but a creature of habit. For me, using my senses is great for training but as we get close to competition (I am currently 5 weeks out), I have to allow that space to change. There are people all around; spotters and loaders and spectators. This is what changes the dynamic for me, especially a spotter, a stranger. The weights are different, the bar is different, smells and sounds are different. I need to prep myself for these elements as well. Allowing my family into my "other space", my weight room, and to spot and get in my field of vision or just where I am spatially aware is a start. I have even had to get my hubby to really get in my way so that I can depersonalize my space a bit and retrain some of that awareness. Training away from my weight room and home also helps prepare me. Different lighting... different feel.

I don't think I am ready to have people in my face in the kitchen or cook away from home just to try and become more comfortable. I have just been able to realize how personal these acts are to me by having to tap into my other senses. Training was very hard to get used to the element of other people. I am glad for it, and now I enjoy it. I do think my kitchen will always be my kitchen for the most part. Don't move my weights don't move my kinda metal.

Category: Inspiration
Tags:  inspiration  personal journey 

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